Was it all just a dream?

Wait... what happened? One year since the beginning of... what?

Ben&Jerry's opens my mind, enough to start writing again. English, this time, for some reason I can't really get to understand. I don't honestly know if this is the beginning of a new era, or just the end of the previous one, that deserves to be properly closed.

Let's back up a little bit...

9 hours behind home, or at least what I used to call home. I'm not sure about that anymore, though. Home was just "home" for 5 weeks this summer, and I can say I don't regret going back. I love "home". I love my friends, my family, the beach, the mountains. I love "home". And the problem is not whether I love it or not, but whether I belong there or not. And 20 years of my life are there. Still. So it's just too difficult to organize thoughts in my head. Let's not talk about expressing it in words.

When I don't pay attention to me for a bit, I find myself searching for flights. To where? To the other side of the world, cause... why not? Why can't we give use to that interconnectedness that they're trying to explain, repeatedly, in my political science class? Why not?

Sorry, I just lose myself. Back there. 5 weeks. Back to my second home, and this time not San Diego. Damn, I miss San Diego. I miss it so much. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, no matter who I am with, EVERTHING reminds me of San Diego. I don't know how to give the best advice ever, but if you ever have the opportunity of stepping into that amazing city, don't you ever dare to leave it. You can just ask whoever you believe in and ask Him/Her to freeze the time. Freeze it. And that's it. You'll be forever free; forever trapped in SoCal. But with people. If not, kill yourself (after enjoying the beach for a looooong while).

Where am I going? What am I doing with my life? Am I happy? Sometimes I get excited, I guess that's the closest feeling to happiness right now. But I feel excited about stupid tiny crazy things that come to mind, combine and make up an idyllic future, where everything and everyone is perfect. Where you can live the life you always wanted but, ironically, you still wonder which one to choose. Every person who I care about is with me, and they're gonna stay there forever, no matter how many (more) stupid things I do, and how many (more) mistakes I still have to make.

That life. That love. That lasts forever. And, at the same time, that lasts just one second. Then, you open your eyes. And you go back to where everything started. You go back to nothing. That nothing will also end. And that's when you close your eyes.